they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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