She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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