Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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