omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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