i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
