Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
