and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize