Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
