I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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