the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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