a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
