My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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