I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
