Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
