I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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