so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.