I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
