Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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