so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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