You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
