I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize