They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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