You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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