So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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