Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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