Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
