So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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