I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
