I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
