1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize