We're facebook friends in real life
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
