i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
do nipples grow back?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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