Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
