don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
