I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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