you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
