look no pants
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
