just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
