FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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