I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
