Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
