Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.

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(513): View more from Ohio

ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(989): View more from Michigan

I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

You did this to yourself.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.

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(660): View more from Missouri

He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed

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(530): View more from California

She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail

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