My ATM looks so different sober.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.