he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.