Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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(601): I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker http://tfl.nu/yjj7

Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (1436)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?

(708): View more from Illinois

We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.

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(847): Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday? (708): We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us. http://tfl.nu/9z48

Replies (47) Good night (14097) Bad night (1073)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible

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(573): Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible http://tfl.nu/a2el

Replies (31) Good night (982) Bad night (3369)
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(760): View more from California

The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

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(760): The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation http://tfl.nu/2mmn

Replies (9) Good night (1862) Bad night (1316)
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(347): View more from New York

It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself

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(347): It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself http://tfl.nu/qcs9

Replies (5) Good night (2284) Bad night (760)
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(360): View more from Washington

it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing

(206): View more from Washington

and semen

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(360): it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing (206): and semen http://tfl.nu/0fmk

Replies (14) Good night (4364) Bad night (868)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

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(540): Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place. http://tfl.nu/p2sn

Replies (4) Good night (1714) Bad night (686)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

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(440): I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob http://tfl.nu/pg2m

Replies (13) Good night (2746) Bad night (611)
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(706): View more from Georgia

six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.

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(706): six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot. http://tfl.nu/rrmy

Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (481)
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(314): View more from Missouri

No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

You're the worst gay friend ever.

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(314): No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like? (1-314): You're the worst gay friend ever. http://tfl.nu/4trc

Replies (2) Good night (1686) Bad night (689)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha

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(515): Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha http://tfl.nu/i50q

Replies (8) Good night (1743) Bad night (384)
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(917): View more from New York City

Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family

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(917): Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family http://tfl.nu/7bwr

Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (542)
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(660): View more from Missouri

You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?

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(660): You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that? http://tfl.nu/jtqu

Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (1054)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

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(215): And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER http://tfl.nu/p5xk

Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (215)
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(407): View more from Florida

Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face

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(407): Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face http://tfl.nu/1rfc

Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (550)

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