Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

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  (212): I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland. http://tfl.nu/ca0n
  Replies (71) Good night (29818) Bad night (1554)
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  (518): View more from New York

  As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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  (518): As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon. http://tfl.nu/t4x8
  Replies (14) Good night (5133) Bad night (1597)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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  (404): Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow http://tfl.nu/pzca
  Replies (5) Good night (2880) Bad night (1322)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

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  (973): Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping http://tfl.nu/1og8
  Replies (21) Good night (4978) Bad night (1817)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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  (716): i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me http://tfl.nu/peek
  Replies (9) Good night (3482) Bad night (1031)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing

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  (512): I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing http://tfl.nu/1m78
  Replies (2) Good night (1042) Bad night (1563)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts

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  (215): Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts http://tfl.nu/dne4
  Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (457)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.

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  (412): You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ. http://tfl.nu/sfn0
  Replies (5) Good night (1381) Bad night (509)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?

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  (256): Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we? http://tfl.nu/5put
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (461)
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  (718): View more from New York

  GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?

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  (718): GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators? http://tfl.nu/ewjm
  Replies (6) Good night (722) Bad night (311)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

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  (773): I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like (630): we should definitely drink gin again. soon. http://tfl.nu/20ks
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (301)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245

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  (602): Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245 http://tfl.nu/keca
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (298)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success

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  (226): I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success http://tfl.nu/m6v1
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (316)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.

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  (540): The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it. http://tfl.nu/w84l
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (939)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now

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  (306): I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now http://tfl.nu/uxk9
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (331)

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