Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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(904): View more from Florida

Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.

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(949): View more from California

am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?

(415): View more from California

i thought you knew

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.

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