6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
