its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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