I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
