so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
