Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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