I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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