Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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