how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize