We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
babies were throwing up all over the place
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
