Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
