I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
