We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize