I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
