I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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