Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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