I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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